It’s been ages since i last log in to facebook and wrote something. Life have been crazy…. Ups and Downs and i am CONFUSED!!!!! Been through lots and am just hoping for the best to happen. Well sad thing is that i think i am going to lose a friend. Well that is life….
Anyways, all… do appreciate the people around you, and treat everyday specially.
Was checking through my friendster and also my blogs, and realise that i haven’t been bloggin like for ages. Times really flies by… Suddenly it’s going to be year end and was sitting down and thinking what have i been doing for the past few months.
Sometimes just wonder how short if time and how little things that you can actually do.
First of all, i will like to say SORRY to my friend that i haven’t been spending time with you guys. I know some of you are really pissed off of me being MIA, but i hope you guys can forgive me.
Life have been the busiet of my life. Haven’t been stopping working at all, and this had basically take up a lot of my time and also my life.
With all the setups and running here and there, i relaly felt really tired and exshauted. Sometimes i really hope that i can take a break, but the reality is that i can’t afford to fall sick or even taking a break.
Time is limited and here comes busy days in rushing for Christmas prepartions and events. What is new man… Sometimes, i just wonder whether i made a decision in getting into this line. Looking at how people are able to enjoy their time, and all i am doing is just work, work, and nothing but work. I was joking with my friends the other day, i think with this kind of lifestyle, no matter how much skincare i use also it’s useless. Unless there are like miracle cream in this world. DUH!!!!!
Seriously it came to a point that i don’t mind working at all, but how long can this be? I can’t be working every weekend and not having a rest and seriously I NEED A LIFE>…….
Was talking to my colleague today, and was thinking of letting go. Cause i seriously cannot take it anymore. If my hard work is being appreciated, i seriously have no complains about it. But what is the point. No matter how hard i try and fight….. nothing seems to be working… and nothing seems to fulfill the big boss’s needs. What is it that they wanted from me?
I think at this moment, the only things which are really holding me back in making the decision are the LM girls. I was thinking that i can’t let them down at this moment and they really need someone to help them and keep figthing for them. But i think now it’s already reach the point which i really do not know how long i can last……..
Haven’t been blogging for quite sometime. Well it’s not what…. just that everyday when i come back from work, i just feel really exshauted… Don’t know why. maybe i have been thinking too much… That is because my boss have been squeezing everything out from my brian.
Was talking to my friend the other day… Was suppose to help him and join him in his business thingy, but things just did not goes as it planned, and i told him that i have no choice but to let go… So now just helping him in part time basis… Started working in a new place… well nothing much to talk about it, just a new environment, a small company but the truth is that i am learning lots… The only thing that i can’t really stand it’s the biggest person,,, basically he is giving me a lot of hard time… Well look at the bright side… i think i can learn stuffs from him. So just cross my fingers…..
Well life have been really busy, tired and the last thing that i wanted is people still talking behind my back. Sometimes i really do not understand why those bitches just keep their mouth shut and just mind their own business… Why can’t they just stay to themselves and stop messing up people;s life.
I overheard that there are total of 35 people who left the company. What message does that give you? Is it our problem? Don ‘t you feel that there is a problem here? But the best part is that, they blame it on the new generation people, that we can’t stand the screaming, scolding and stress. I mean… look, no matter where you work, there are always stress. But look, the generation is changing and can’t you tell the differences? Even our parents dont’ shout at us anymore. it’s all about respect. It’s about growing up and learn. It’s about STOP TALKING, SHOUTING and blame it on others. Go solve your own problems. The world just don’t function like the old times anymore. Please get the picture. I seriously have no regrets….. We were all treated like dogs with no respects. I am sorry that i have to use all these words, but it’s just that it comes to a point that i am really pissed off. Of all the effort that you have put into a job and no one actually appreciate it. You just tend to give up… Well so i moved on…….
Sometimes you will wonder what the purpose of us being in this world is. Everyday you will see people dying, new born babies, people getting sick. Have you ever wonder why things kept happening around you and what will you feel. I have came to a point in my life where I kept on thinking what is the main purpose of God giving me this life and what does he wants me to learn in this world. We laugh, we cry, we face heart breaks and see people leaving us. It makes me see how tiring a person life is. Recently, I found that there are a few people around me who have cancer. It’s really heart breaking, where you find out that the people who are dear to you are having such hard time. Sometimes it will make me wonder…… What did this people did in order to get them into this situation. Do they really deserve it? But why them? And why not those people who are out there who really deserves all these punishments? Why do good people have to get sick and face with these entire difficult situations, while people who always go around hurting people are still happily doing what they are doing and nothing happen to them? Don’t you think this is a bit unfair?
I have been thinking about this for the whole day and I have come to this point that I am really tired. Not to say physically tired, but mentally I am really tired. Tired of??? Well, I can say that I am really tired of work, tired of the people being fake around me, tired of not being treated fairly and appreciated, and tired of taking care of everyone around. I mean, I am also a human being, I too need a break and need someone to love, care and be there to support me whenever I wanted. It that too much to ask for?
One of my friend told me that he had stomach cancer, another subordinate of mine also have cancer and she is now lying in the hospital, and recently I only found out that another girl friend of my had lung cancer. What is happening around? I mean these people are all really nice and what did they do to deserve all these? Don’t you think it’s a bit unfair? Sometimes it makes you wonder. We always care about what we eat, how we live our live, but then things like that happen to you. What can we say about it? We can’t do anything but to face with the reality and fight against it. But WHY?
I talked to one of my friend the other. He was asking me, what is the purpose of us working our ass up everyday and making ourselves burned out, but there are people out there who just does not need to be like our situation and they are so happy with their life and they can just have anything that they wanted. Do you think this is fair? All of us worked hard in order to make living, and it’s really disappointing when you find out that of all the time that you are working hard, no one actually appreciated it. Well I know, some of you will say that, we do things for ourselves, but not for others. But then, won’t you be thinking, why are we going through all these?
Oh, I just resigned recently, and I was really sad and disappointed when I found out that people can just be so fake. They stop talking to you, they treat you like you are transparent, while all these time, and you were being friendly to everyone around you. Well at least I know who my true friends are around. Those who are you true friend will never change. I am just getting really tired. With all these work issues, friends get sick, people betraying you…. When is it going to stop? Why is so hard to be nice to people? Why can’t people just be sincere and be straight forward? Isn’t it hard to pretend all the time? It’s just too tiring to handle all these things. Friend, just one advice. Just be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone who you are not. It’s just too tiring.
Last saturday was a freaking busy saturday. Woke up early and received a call from a crazy woman. hahahahaha, the most crazy woman that i ever know. ( i think you know who are you:P). Anyways, she drove me to kepong to have a blood donation. then i was thinking what the heck. my as well since i am so free. Went there and meet some of her friends and she just left me there. How could you…. So bad. Anyways, after gone through all those test, finally i was lying on the bed to let the nurse to do the job. I really regreatted it. Cause the stupid nurse really did a bad job. I wonder how can she graduate. She just poke the needle inside my arm and basically she was having a hard time looking for the blood veins. Instead of taking the needle out and research for it. she was basically playing sewing game with the needle underneath my arm skin. the best part is that when i shouted, she still have the nerves in asking me whether it is painful. HELLO are you stupid, obviously it’s painful right. it’s not that i am dead or what. Imagine a F*** needle inside you and swimming around. Damn it. Anyways, i TAHAN and finally it was over. How i wish now i have a camera with me and snap the photo to let everyone see. Cause now there is this big blue black spot on my arm.really damn ugly. I***** invited me to play some card games with the friends and luckily it was worth it. Cause i won RM 60 ringgit hahahahaah. Well We had a good time.
Later on, This crazy woman suddenly have this idea of doing our manicures and padicures. well i was thinking , since we have nothing much to do. My as well. But i really regretted, cause i end up having a striking blue color nails. &^*%)#^%*#). No thanks for I****. IK shouldn’t have listen to her in letting her to choose the color for me. Now i am like the laugh and hot topic. &*(_(^*%^%&^%$^#%&*$#… Anyways, we went to Laundry to have a drink with my friends and we really had a good time. Was dancing like mad cause it’s been quite sometime. All in all, both of us had a good time, even though in the end, someone started puking. HAHAHAHAH 
We always hear about abuse cases and guys hitting their partners and stuffs like that. But does it came to you mind why does it happen? Who should we blame when things like that happen? Is it the woman’s or the man’s fault. What can we say about it. Have you tried being in a fight with your bf and then suddenly he started to throw things towards you? What will you do. Will you just leave him or give them another chance if they are really sorry about it? But is it worth it in giving them another chance? Well,i understand that everyone will have their stress from work and their own problems, but are they allowed to throw their anger towards you? Is it acceptable? There are people who will actually give their guy another chance, but i think we all just have to make it point and put it to the point that they should know very well that no matter what happen, they shouldn’t throw their anger on their loves one. Then what is the purpose in being in a relationship when all this comes out and it will just make things ugly. Don’t you think so. We are still humans, and no one have the rights in laying their hands on anymore… Don’t you think so. This is just not acceptable!!!!!!
What makes a man take this fist and strike at the woman. It fills me with anger. I mean excuse me. WE WOMEN DO DESERVES SOME RESPECT AS WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS ALSO!!! If hitting a woman is your idea of being a man, then someone need to knock you onto you head. To me, you are a cowardly punk with no class, and you find the ‘right’ girl who knows her rights and who respect themselves as who they are, they will kick your ass.
When someone hit a woman, you are threatening the life- of someone’s mother, sister, niece, daugther, aunt, or wife. seems to me that the message is clear. Stop hitting the women, that’s not why we are here. To those sister out there- staying with a man who hits you once, is setting yourself up for another punch. A man who isn’t a man is a waste of space and time. He who provokes domestic violence is a great disgrace. God had many things he wanted in a man. Never did HE say that Adam should strike Eve. not only is it unlawful, it’s also a sin.
Some of you will read this, and please quickly discard this bad bahavior. Just because you have a bad day does not mean that you can put your anger towards your woman. Do not continue to bahave like a beast in the yard. That is very tragic.
I know there are still a number of man out there who knows how to protect and respect their woman. So why can’t the other half be the same? Why can’t we have the same kind of man behavior in this world? Does hurting your woman means joy to you or it’s hurtful to you? There are still man out there which will say that if you hit my woman, to them, that would be a risk, to your pathetic life. So just in case you are a smart-ass, listen very closly. Every woman is a gift, a very delicate rose. If you are a man, think of it this way. We are here in this world to bring you joy and love and not letting you to put your fist on. Please learn like other decent guys and be a MAN!!!!!
Hahaha, you know what. Was talking to Jeren today and he show me this picture. Look at his hand. It all started with a pinching fight in the office. Sorry lah Jeren, i didn’t know that it was that bad. I didn’t expect this, and look at this msn.
JeR3n…~ says:
hi slut
Caryn says:
i am not a slut
Caryn says:
at least not now anymore
Caryn says:
i retired from that already
~JeR3n…~ says:
my hand is all bruised up
~JeR3n…~ says:
because of you!
Caryn says:
hahahahaha
Caryn says:
hello don’t blame me
Caryn says:
it’s just one spot ok
Caryn says:
i am sorry ok
Caryn says:
didn’t meant it
~JeR3n…~ says:
let me show u ok!
Caryn says:
i didn’t do anything. just one spot
~JeR3n…~ says:
look at this!
Caryn says:
oh shit
Caryn says:
did i really do that?
~JeR3n…~ says:
then!
Caryn says:
ok next time when i see you, i will bring some ice ok
Caryn says:
and cream
Caryn says:
sorry
Caryn says:
thousand apologies
~JeR3n…~ says:
yah yah!
~JeR3n…~ says:
i’ll make sure u remember this!
~JeR3n…~ says:
wahahahaha
Caryn says:
sorry, i meant it ok
Caryn says:
i really did not know that i was that hard
~JeR3n…~ says:
now u know ur strength!
~JeR3n…~ says:
evil!
Caryn says:
you started it what
Caryn says:
okok, i promise that i won’t pinch you anymore
~JeR3n…~ says:
i didn’t pinch till u blue black lo!
Caryn says:
i didn’t know ok
~JeR3n…~ says:
evil!!!!!!!!!!
Caryn says:
sorry lah
~JeR3n…~ says:
i will remain this tag for as long as i can!
Caryn says:
you don’t need to let the whole world knows about it right
Caryn says:
what tag?
~JeR3n…~ says:
my msn tag line!
~JeR3n…~ says:
kekekeke
Caryn says:
heh you should send me this picture. hahaha
Caryn says:
then i can write a blog about it
Caryn says:
and just to say how sorry am i
~JeR3n…~ says:
yes u shud!
~JeR3n…~ says:
no need!
~JeR3n…~ says:
fake apologies!
~JeR3n…~ sends:
Open(Alt+P)
~JeR3n…~ says:
i will not entertain!
Caryn says:
hello i mean it ok
Caryn says:
i am really sorry
Caryn says:
i am not as bad as you think i am ok
~JeR3n…~ says:
u are not bad
~JeR3n…~ says:
just evil!
Caryn says:
i am not evil ok
Caryn says:
compare to you
Caryn says:
did you show him about this
Caryn says:
and start cursing me?
~JeR3n…~ says:
of course i show this to everyone!
Caryn says:
oh shit
~JeR3n…~ says:
simon, kew shermz and yk!
~JeR3n…~ says:
and my bro!
~JeR3n…~ says:
tonite will be desmond!
Caryn says:
oh fuck
Caryn says:
no wonder i was sneezing like mad over here
~JeR3n…~ says:
i’ll make sure i wear short sleeve and everyone as me abt it!
Caryn says:
then you will start saying that the bitch caryn did this to me isn’t it
~JeR3n…~ says:
wahahaha!
Caryn says:
evil
~JeR3n…~ says:
of course!
Caryn says:
you are worst than me
~JeR3n…~ says:
the most evil of all!
~JeR3n…~ says:
i am!
OK, this is what you get when you hurt someone. hahahahaha. Sorry lah jeren, didn’t really mean it ok. This lesson is to teach you not to mess with a woman. Hahahahah. There goes, and he is going to show everyone and start cursing me:P. so boys and girls. Don’t play around with your strength and this is what you will get at the end. 
Another pass by, and it’s pass by so fast, that you suddenly noticed how old you are. I still remember when i started to write my blogs, it was during last year Chinese New Year, and now it’s already 2007. Time really flies by without you knowing it.
What does Chinese New Year means? Chinese New year is the longest and most important celebration in the Chinese calender. This year is the Chinese year 4705.
Chinese months are reckoned by the lunar calendar. New Year festivities traditionally start
on the first day of the month and continue until the fifteenth, when
the moon is brightest. In China, people may take weeks of holiday from
work to prepare for and celebrate the New Year.
This year is a PIGGY year, and i was searching through what is the meaning of the piggy year and my horoscope. And you know what? I found out a few interesting thing about this year.
Sometimes it really makes you wonder whether do people really believe in all these horoscope thing? You will be surprise, cause there are people who really believes in it and they are superstitious people in this world.
I was born in the year of Snake and i found something really interesting. Cause everything about me this year is bad. Like there will be accidents, no chance in changing jobs, have to take care of financial. But heh, at least something is interesting, which is it stated, that i have a lot of love lucks this year and there are high possibility of getting married. hahahahahah… What a joke. my horoscope tells me the same thing every year, but hello, it does not seems to work. Cause until now i am still S & A . What is this. Love luck? You must be kidding.
Was spending some time with my family. I think it’s because of work, i noticed that the only time you only talked to your cousins are during Chinese new Year. What is this. What have this world turn into? Sometimes it makes you wonder what kind of life are we having? Don’t we have a life at all? Until we don’t even have time for our family? Anyways, this year is something new, cause they were saying that i changed and do you know what i said? OH yes, that is because i am still s & A(single and available). That is why i have to make sure that i look good. hahahahaha. But i don’t think that it’s working, cause i am still desperately looking. What is this man.
Where are all the guys. But the best part is that, i still can get ang pows from everyone. hahahahah. my married cousins was asking me don’t i feel embarrass in getting the ang pow. But heh, dudes, i am sorry man. Cause as long as i am getting money from you guys. I am more than happy. hahahaha
Anyways, this is the first day of Chinese new year and it’s good to see all the family and have some chatting season. It’s good to see everyone. Anyways, i will want to wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year 2007 and may this year brings you all the prosperity and happiness.
This is like a memory to remember and something that i will never do. Can you believe it. went out with a gf of mine for dinner Tuesday, and then after that we met with her bf for a drink. Were talking about rubbish and bitching the whole day. then suddenly the bf said that we should make a trip to Genting highlands, and i was like WTF, it’s was 10 something then, and then i had an appointment the next day at 9. then i told them to go ahead, cause i do not want to be a light bulk. But anyways, i thought that that was it. We went of the restaurant later and then the bf was driving and i thought they were sending me back.
Then after a while, i notice that there were driving to somewhere which i was not familiar with, and i asked them where are we going. Suddenly they told me that we are going up to genting, and i was like WHAT?????? Are you kidding me? In my head i was thinking, shit, i was being conned into a car and going up to genting. Anyways, my gf told me that we were just going to have a drink at starbucks and then we will be leaving. Then i was thinking, ok.. It won’t take that long.
After we were at startbucks enjoying the drink. Suddenly the bf went somewhere and dissapear. Anyways, we can’t be bother for the moment, cause i was freaking cold, as i was wearing this really thin clothes. I was basically hugging myself and seriously even though it was only 16 degree celcius, i just felt really really cold.
The bf came back with some movie tickets, and it was for the movie’night in the museum’ and the show only starts at 1,45am. Oh my god. That was my first reaction. Then i was thinking, am i able to be back to kl on time for the appointment. But then, i can’t do anything, cause since he already bought the tickets, i don’t have a choice but to follow right?
It was pretty nice in the cinema, cause they have all these OSIM message chairs in the front row, and only three of us was occupying it. It was pretty fun and cool, cause for that few hours, we were bascially just sitting there messaging and watching the movie. It turn up to be a really relax night. BTW, did i tell you guys what time we reach KL? I know that the bf was driving really fast, but i can’t be bother with it, cause i was too tired and fell asleep in the car. And the best part is that, i really feel like vomitting and trying really hard to hold it, cause i was thinking it’s not really that good to ask them to stop in the middle of the road. So i slept. And when we reach KL, it was 6 in the morning. I was too tired, until i just felt asleep and it was like a night mare when i woke up at 8, cause my eyes are all dark and tired. But anyways, i think all in all, it’s worth it , hehehehehe at least i have the change to get messages for the few hours.
OK, i understand that this does not really apply to all the guys out there. But was just discussing this topic with my friends. And sometimes, it just makes you wonder why is so hard to get the ‘Mr Right’. Even if you have dated a guys for like year, and he will just tell you. Darling, i am sorry but i am not ready for the commitment. WTF. to some of us woman, we will be thinking. What the hell…. If you are not ready, why do you even bother to waste my time place. To all Darling man out there. Time flies by fast, and you can’t expect your woman to wait for you ages and years. Some guys are like kids in a candy store. It’s hard for them to choose when there are lots of varieties in front of them and they just can’t decide which one to choose. They will always give you the excuses saying that they cannot commit cause they don’t think that they are stable yet. But is this the truth. Some might be, but the other have is because they just don’t want to lose the freedom. Cause once they commit, there goes their freedom of choice.
They are afraid of losting their ‘masculinity’ and they believe that this is what commitment implies. This may seem incredibly unreasonable and even insulting to women. But it’s true. Men feel that if they fall in love and stay with one woman, they will lose their ‘manhood’. What is this manhood? i think most of us will understand. It may include their freedom of choose, their freedom of dating, their freedom of speech and etc.
Well sometimes women like us will keep asking wether is our fault, and i know it sound a bit crazy. But then, it’s not really our fault. Men spend their whole lives showing that they are strong and silent. They fight for independence the way women struggle to connect. By thte time a man is in his late teens or his twenties, he’s so happy to be away from his mother and on his own that he wants to keep it that way. But they will lost all these once they commit with a woman. Cause it’s like they are being lock up again. So women our there, if you don’t want your man to feel that way. Give them some space to breath. We can always give them sometime off, i believe this is what most of us women wanted from a man also. Isn’t that true.
Well i am not saying that all man will not commit, some will. I have a friend who said that there are still lots of men our there who wanted to get married. yes i know this is correct, that is why i am sayin about commitment and not only marriage. there is a terrible contradiction inside their hears, which a lot of us women does not understand. Sometimes, men do feel terrible when a relationship ends. The woman was really importatnt to them, but just do not know how to let her know. And when things went a little wrong int he relationship, they ran away. Why does this happen? Cause it’s not really masculine for the to talk about it. Because of this masculine issue, it’s hard for them to admit to themselves how much they cared for the woman and how lost they felt when things were going wrong. So whenever something goes wrong, it will be easier to leave and start over with someone new.
Well, i know that it’s hard for us women sometimes. But if you really wanted a relationship to last, then we will have to take the effort to understand how men perceive their masculinity. How do we perceive this? Well just take men as if they are the weaker sex. They may talk louder and act tougher. A lot of them seem to be control freaks, but there are a lot of them who are really scared. They are lost when they go into a relationship -about who they are and what they fell. In actual fact, in a love affair, they are the once who are at a real disadvantage. men get totally confused when they’re in love. This is why they are so paranoid and run away when things get close.
Guys treasure their own freedom, but they expect us to be totally loyal from almost the first minute. In fact, men are secretly jealous of a woman’s former lovers, of guys at the office, of everyone in a woman’s life. They always want to fell that they are the greatest lover you ever had, and they want to feel that you see them as totally masculine and totally perfect. So, we as a woman have to do our part. I know that a lot of us will say that this is so unfair for us woman, but then heh we just have to accpet the fact and do our part.
Just say that in actual fact it’s easy to get men’s loyalty if once you understand what they really wanted. Well a few examples, is like you can fo a few simple things like speaking well of your man in public- like enjoying his successes and being interested in his life. These things assure him of your loyalty and cost you nothing. For us woman, we may have to put our foot down early, as with any deman that’s unfair. Just say that men don’t really talk about feelings. They just want us woman to love him as a sensitive, fragile sould and not just as a conquering hero. Well yes, they might act strong and maybe controlling, but he just wants gentle treatments.
Well all in all, we just have to make it clear to them at the beginning. Insist that he share. Rmember the details that matter to him and insist that he remember the ones that matter to you. They have to learn from scratch. Secretly they know that it;s worth it and they will want to learn. So always be open and talk to your man. communication is really important. We don’t want the guessing things. It will cause to a lot of unwanted endings.
