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Christmas is just around the corner, and man.. now really feel like time really flies by. It just seems like yesterday is chinese new year and now 2006 is going to be over. Damn….. Sometimes it makes you wonder what exactly you have done to your life. Was talking to my friends the other day about the years. I still remember that years back we can’t wait to be 21, cause when you reach 21 years old, there is when you are able to do all the things. Clubbing, Drinking, Late nights, hanging out without worrying about parents calling …. And the list goes on long and long. But my goodness, time really flies by cause i am f***29 now and can’t imagine that i will be turing into 30 soon. My goodness. ….

It’s another stage of life and it’s a new beginning of new experience and challenges facing in front of us. Well, i still think that i am not getting old, and it’s just that i am getting mroe experience towards situations and more mature. Cheers to that. The older you get, the more you are going to learn in your life. And i can really see that i am growing with the things happening around me. It’s not easy to be in the 20s, cause that is when you don’t really know what you really wanted in your life. I have done tonnes of things, been there, tried it. And i am proud to say that i am happy that i have gone through that stage, cause at least now i know what i wanted and how i am going to plan my path towards reaching that stage.

Anyways friends….. DOnt’ be sad to go through the years, and another thing that you have to remember. SOmetimes it;s hard for us but then lifes still have to goes on, and we should always live everyday happily and fully.

Recently i received an email a really intersting email from a good friend and i think it’s really interesting and something that most of us female should take not and learn something out from it. Here it is , and i wanted to share with all of you out there. All starts from here

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. 
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. 
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. 
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. 
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better. 
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can’t "be friends." A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. 
 
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. 
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. 
The only person you can control in a relationship is you. 

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, 
Why would he treat you any differently? 

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less. 
Never let a man define who you are. 
Never borrow someone else’s man. 
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. 
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. 
All men are NOT dogs. 

You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two-way street. 
You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage… deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists 
of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary…not supplementary. 

RecentlyDating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. 

Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others. 

Share this with other ladies….. You’ll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choice s, and another woman PREPARE. 
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them. 

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT…………..

I think this article is really interesting, i know a lot of your out there might not agree to whatever is stated inside, but think cleary, do we go through all this misery in our lifes? Maybe it’s time to rally think what we deserve. Everyone deserves someone special to them. I used to let people to pull me around and have nothing to say about it. But for all the relationships that i gone through, it really thought me a really good lesson. LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WANT OTHERS TO LOVE YOU. Never let anyone put a string around you and pull you around. Always make a stand towards things whis is right, and cut off immediately if you think that things are wrong. Never put yourself into a miserable life. IT"S NOT WORTH IT AT ALL. Why do we want to waste our time in somethings that we know it will not happen. Never expect anyone to change, cause sometimes even we ourselves cannot changed.

Remember one thing, change for YOURSELF and NOT FOR OTHERS. That will make our life happier. We are all human beings and we all deserve the right kind of respect and rights!!!!!!

KL night life. Sometimes you wonder where did all the people go to during at night, especially at night. It seems that kl is really a non slepping city. YOu can see most of the pubs are full of people especially during at night. Went out to dinner yesterday with some friends, and then we decided to go over to laundry for a drink. Look at the crowd,It’s pack with people. no wonder so many people are broke hahahahah. It’s either that or people in KL is really earning a lot. But then, i doubt so. hahaha.

But then, it’s such a noisy place. I told my friend, we can’t even talk there, cause it’s full of people and then they had this football thing going on. It;s damn noisy. It’s seems to be a trend now in kl, everyone just enjoy the open air. See even a pub have open air. What is this. But then it’s cool also, cause after you have a lot of drinks, you tend to get really hot and then we need the air… the fresh air. Anyways, friends thank you for the night. really enjoyed the company.

Ever though of having a normal life and would like to always remain in our comfort zones, but the problem is that just isn’t possible. There are always things happening in our lifes. The wheels of life roll and when they do, sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down. It’s been a long two months for me, everything seems to be happening around and unexpectaly. I really learned a lot this months and it actually open my eyes and able to see clearly how fake can people be, and sometimes how a life can turn in just a short while.

in just a few months, i lost some of my friends and at the same time i gain a few really close friends who i will really appreciate them in my life. People getting married, people seperated, people finding someone dear to them, people dissapointed and people being happy. It just makes me realise that time really flies by and life will not stop for you. It will just go by without you knowing what had happend and what had you done to contribute to this life. i learned something really meaningful from a few friends recently. The problem with me is that i am always not satisfied with what i have and tends to always complain and compare to others. always not happy with myself and tends to lost my sense of confidence. Thanks to them, they really thought me something about life. Always open up your eyes and open up yourself to see the colours of life. This world is full of wonderful things and life can be as colourful as you want it to be. But you have to make it happen and not letting every minute pass by withouth any meaning.

Was at home the whole day today. No one was around, was just lying on the bed and clearing my head of thoughts and to think positive things. Was trying to surround myself in positivity and focus on whats going on in my head. Just at time’s it gets hard to think of ways to remove the unwanted thoughts and negativity.Thinking that the quitness and the openess of the room would help and allow myself to defuse. It works to a point but not all the thoughts are removed there just not as loud or strong as before anymore. There are too many things in my mind and just like my friends had told me. It shows from my face that i have too many thoughts and i am just getting myself worrying lots of things.

The strongest thought that has a hard time dissipating is the thought of being alone and single. Unfortunately when you go out to any places, you will always see the places not only are there full with couples, walking hand in hand or kissing, babies and weddings. To walk this life path alone and being alone is not easy. Always wanted to find ways in getting those thoughts of being alone away, but it just simple can’t go away so easily. To me,happiness is harder to gain when it involves someone who doesn’t yet know you exist.

Seeing the people planning to get married, looking at people getting someone who treasures them and loves them. It just makes me wonder when is God sending my angle to my life. Have tried a lot of ways to get my mind away from this. No doubt that i have a few really close friends who really cares and also my family, but looking at the love birds just makes you wonder when is your turn, or will there be an angel for me at all. Looking back at the past, all the relationships had make it really difficult for me, cause like what XXX had told me, i tend to always put criteria towards everyone that i meet. I know that it’s so unfair but then, because of all those sad memories, it tend to make me to be a stronger person and also a person who are over careful with everyone that i meet. it sound so selfish but is that a good way in helping me to protect myself getting hurt again? How many times do i have to get hurt until the right angel appears in front of me. This is something that i have to learn. To really open up myself and learn to accept everythings that comes to me. To those who have found their angle of their life. Congratulations and remember one thing, nice people dont come everyday, appreciate what you have and never let it go. I am still seeking for my angle and hope that one day it will happen and my friends are able to share the happiness with me.

Friends, that is the most important issue in my life now. I always believe in making everyone around me happy no matter how far it will take me. I treasured everyone around me, but things had happen that i started to question myself," is it worth it?" why can’t everyone be as sincere and accept everything that someone had done for you? Is friendship something that can be used? it’s really a great dissapointment to me when i found out that the person that i really care and helped for the past few months actually betray me. What did i do to deserve all these? Is God trying to teach me a lesson? What will you do when someone cares and were there for you when you are in the difficult time. What will you do when that particular person gave you all the comfort, friendship and thrust to you? How could someone just turn their back and saying bad things like you are using them after what i have done for them? I really don’t understand how evil some people can be. it really hurts my heart, because after everything that i had done, it was not being appreciated but i was being hurt deeply. It really shows to me how people can change easily and do something else to ruin people’s life and also happiness.

Friends are really hard to get nowadays, especially dear friends. But anyways, i am thankful that even though i lost one, i gain back a few. I really wanted to thank God for that. Heh friends, if you know who you are. I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me for this two monts, making me happy and giving the hope back to my life. I really appreciate that.

Ever make you wonder why sometimes when you are dating a guy and became physical with him, but after that he quickly pulled away from you? I believe that some of the woman out there will faced with this problem. Sometimes, we tend to be a bit innocent and think that the only way to fullfill a man’s heart and to keep them is to give them whatever they want, including sXX. But does it really work all the time? I am telling you girls, it does not. Sometimes not all the guys are jerks, there are still a number of the male species out there who appciate a woman as who they are and not because of the body.

Girl, just remember one thing. you just have to open your eyes and also listen to you heart and mind sometimes. Sometimes a man will NEVER see your "worth"just because he is having sex with you. Just because a man has sex with a woman, this does not mean that he will spend even a second of his time deciding whether or not he wants to be with you in the future. Sometimes it just make you wonder are we really that innocent? why do woman always think that way?

The question here is what actually make a guy finally judge that you are worth it as a woman? Does sleeping with him able to win his heart or just his physical and lust? Sex is not always the answer to a relationship. Sometimes by doing that, you are going to get into a really tough relationship, cause by end of the day, he might not love you as who you are, but how your body feels. You are actually seeking his approval in the worst kind of way.

We as the woman always tend to wait and wanting a guy to show us that we deserve the experience of open and unrestrained love. We count on him to be the strong and masculine lover we’ve always wanted, and who will break into our hearts away from all the barriers. That is why we can surrender just like that and let them do whatever they wanted, or is it what we think that they want?

Some of the us might think that by giving them ourselves, it will proof to them that he should love and value us, cause we have given the most precious thing to them. But is that what they wanted? Would this love really grow or is it just LUST all along. What are we thinking? Sometimes we have to listen to his heart and action. Be cautious all the time, cause it’s time for us to stop oping that a man will become the person what we want him to be, cause they might end up showing to you that he doesn’t even have clue about wat love is or how to be with a woman. There are time, physical might take away all our attention and we end up being so wrapped up in this perspective and forgotten about something WAY MORE IMPORTANT in a relationship.

What does love, sex and the mind of the maculine man have to do with us? That is a good question. We as female have to be clear of what some of the man really wants, and what WE WANTS.

Who a man really is? I know that is a question most of us will ask. We can never figure this out, and this is just like a man can never figure out what a woman really needs.  Women are always different from men. Our feminine energy grows with fullness, praise, connection and love, to allow us to surrender in all kinds of joyful experiences. With sex, women surrender to the experience with a man through love and connection, which can make the man and woman as one.

But the masculine guys does not work this way. At least not the darker part of a man. The masculine energy is very very different. Men always tend to seek and break through challenges all alone and achieve their so called freedom. Have you ever heard a man talk about how he wanted his "freedom".. and you wondered what the hell he was talking about? And you could tell that he didn’t even really know waht he meant by his freedom. This "freedom" is actually what a guy think of surrender and fulfilment, just as we means is conection and loving. Ever noticed that lots of men fall right to sleep or act like they are somewhere else after the "heart boiling" section? I know, you guys might think that " what is this woman talking about?"

Well, just say that with sex,  man doesn’t surrender to love and connection the way a woman does. unless you force them to learn. But instead, men often seek the physical challende of sex as a goal unto itself, where they can break through to a temporary freedom and fulfillment. Ya , i know that if some of you read this, you might think that i am crazy, but unless there are guys outt here who are in this kind of category. Just say that men just don’t ac the way we do. We might think that sex is able to tie them down, but in actual fact, it does not work all the time. To them is’t not love, but it’s about physical. What if they get bored one day and just leave you alone? We don’t want that to happen isn’t it.

A man will never see you exactly the way you want him to see you, orvalue you exactly the way you now you should be valued, if….you are doing things just to seek and win his love and APPROVAL. Yes, you might think that by being physical with him too early will able to pull it off, but stop being so hard on yourself. Well, i know sometimes sleeping or being physical with a man is NOT a bad thing. Well at least what most of the people will think.WINK WINK.

But you have got to create the right feeling within him before and uring the experience of being together for it to truly bring you closer in love. But i am sorry to say this, sometimes just being there isn’t going to do it and reach a man’s heart. People might always think that women are really high maintanance, but sometimes it just make you realized that men are equally the same.

Anyways, what are we going to rewire the things and win their heart? Well, this is sometimes i read from book and i am not sure whether it’s helpful. It is stated that :

First, we should stop wanting the fact that we have had sex to magicaly win him over into being an open and loving partner like you are. And please always do make our mind clear and really sit down and think what a man really wants in a woman to do or fall in love with. I am talking about mature, healthy men here. They want someone that they WANT!!!!! They want to have a woman, to worship her, to please her, ravish her, and to sweep her off her feet with their physical and emotional presence. (i am not talking about sex here ok? What i mean is the attention and physically being there……) And for the woman to be utterly and completely taken with them and what they do. Men want to be challenged by the idea of meeting and attracting a woman, and then they want to win the woman over and feel stronger as a man for having done it. SO, sXX does not answer all the question here.

Men deals in two ways:

1) They find more "freedom" and emptiness by physically being with a woman in the short term.

2) They find connection and love by physically AND emotionally being with a woman in a deeper and lonter term way.

And sometimes, we just don’t let him do their way and tends to HELPS them choose which it will be with her. The point is, men LOVE the chase. Some men might tell you that they don’t, but THEY DO. Men love the chase and the challenge. The love it in their feelings and emotions. It’s part of their genetic make up.  But if a woman loses control emotionally, seeks HIS APPROVAL or thinkgs she can trade sex to receive love before a man’s experiencing and intense desire to WIN HER OVER and to be with her, then seomthing bad will happen. The man loses that feeling of excitement and challenge with her. He will recognizes that the woman has already given over physical and emotional control to him. Which will destroy the strongest creationg of long lasting love with a man.

So, if you don’t make a man FEEL attracted to you and trigger the emotional desire deep inside him to win you over and with you for the long term, then there’s no amount of talking, sharing, or SEX that can change his mind. WE just have to have the more deeply connected feelings.

So, don’t act rushly, sometimes not everything that we think will solve the problem. Let them love us as who we are.

Cheers

Recently i am really pissed off with the services that the local hospital giving to the patients, expecially those with cancer issues.

I mean what are they thinking, cancer is not a small issue and it whould be treated immediately and not dragging and endanger people’s life. What the hell are they doing. I know this person who found out that she have cancer and a tumor in her intestine side, and last week when she went to the doctor in UH, they told her that the cancer has spread to her kidney side. I mean since they know that this is a very dangerous case, why they still want to drag her and not doing necesarry medication or surgery immediately? I got to know from this person that she is going to see the doctor again on the 16, and then only they will arrange necessary treatments for her. Come on, she have been sick for nearly a few weeks already and all the necessary reports and scanning has been done. Why are they still dragging it? I mean, don’t they understand how important a person’s life is?

It really hurts me when this person told me the pain and struggle that she is going through. She went to see the doctor last week and complain about the pain, the best part is that they still have the nerves in telling her to follow her appointment and come back to see the surgeons on Monday. I mean, come onlah, it’s a servere case, don’t drag it lah.. They should do something fast instead of asking people for wait for a few weeks to do necessary thing.

I mean just imagine that what if at first it’s not really that serious and because of waiting, all the cancer cell may have the possibility in spreading to other places, and wouldn’t this be more dangerous for the patient? Damn… sometimes i wonder what are they thinking, I just feel like screaming at them and tell them don’t they know and understand the furious and pain of a person who really needs medical attention ASAP? Would they bare the consequences if anything happen to the patient just because they never give any attention to the patient immediately? Who is going to bare the resposibility? What are they thinking. I mean i can gurantee that this will never happen with a private hospital… I mean what is the purpose of a doctor? Isn’t it to help heal every patients ASAP and not dragging until it’s too dangerous?

This is jsut too stupid. What can we do to change the service given? #$%^*$^%)*&^%$^#$#@%

This is a question that most of us girls will ask. Cause most of my friend will say that it’s really hard to get nice guys, Cause it’s either they are taken or most of them are gays. SO what is LEFT for us??? Does that mean that we have to change our preference or just get stuck with all those losers? Well a lot of people will say that it’s always unfair cause all these nice guys are always taken by all the good lo0oking girls. What about those of us who are normal looking but with BRAINS? Does that really scare them away? What is wrong with us?

It is always so unfair, cause if you are a really sexy and good looking female, guys will be paying to respond to YOU..It’s not a problem for them at all.

Anyways, for me, i always think that we should look at the broader picture, you need to realize that it’s better to not go out with anyone than waste your time on jerks…there’s nothing that says you will die if you don’t have a boyfriend, or a date…best thing to do is focus on developing your life, your interests, your future…more suitable guys will appear naturally as you meet them just by doing the things you want to do…i’d also go to the bookstore and get a book on self-esteem; it may explain why you’re willing to settle for less than you deserve….nice guys are out there, but you need to be patient, while in the meantime upgrading yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically, so you’ll be better equipped to attract their attention, or if necessary, live happily without them…

Things are always changing everyday in this world and so are people. So just live happily everyday and don’t get worry about what will happen in future. I always tell myself to live everyday like there is no tomorrow and you will be happy always. Cheers

What is the actual meaning of a true friend. I always find it hard nowadays to find a true friend. Sometimes we threat everyone as a really close friend, but do  that person threats you the same? The people nowadays are just so fake, why can’t they always threat everyone the same with a sincere heart? Why can’t they just be friendly and appreciate what other people have done for them during their difficult time and how people make them laugh? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO APPRECIATE the people around you? To me,, this is the meaning of a true friend.

A True Friend is someone who is always there.
Who takes the time out to fill you with lots of positive confidence, and composure.
Who also listens and supports your idea’s; Regardless of how wierd.

A True Friend is someone that goes that additional mile.
Makes those sacrifices, and helps you subsist with all of your life Crisis’s.
And when needed, also knows how to make you smile.

A True Friend is someone who Loves and cares for you; through all the good and the bad. Who can lift your spirits up, when you’re feeling sad.
And lets not forget; who also gives you those Life long Lectures when your
Contemplating on being bad.

A True Friend is someone that Holds for you a special place in there heart.
He or she endures your pain and sorrow. But best of all; they will be there again
to lend there support tomorrow.

A True Friend is someone. that is looking for no advantages, pillage or capital gain. But only expects nothing but a True Friend in reward, that offers the same.

The reason why i am so upset is because i found out that i have done so many things for someone, but that person does not only not appreciate what i have done, but still able to talk bad about me in front of others and said that i am using ***. What the ****, i don’t deserve this kind of treatment at all from that person. I have always been there when you need my help but how could you treat me like that? The only thing i don’t like is that this person are able to tell others about my private matters. I mean, come on. I don’t need you to advertise for me at all. It’s my life and i don’t need you to tell everyone about it. If i wanted to let others know about it, it should come out from my mouth and not yours. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??? Why can people be so fake???? In front of you, they will threat you nicely and say nice things and act as if they care about you, but when they turn, they are like another person who does not appreciate your friendship at all. WHY is it that i have done so many things and threat you as a close friend, and go that extra mile to do things for them and they have the nerve in saying that i am using them and bitching about them? Is advising them a sign of bitching? Is hanging around with them a sign of using them?

I really don’t understand what this world have turn into. It’s full of different people who is so hard to understand. Why can’t we just be simple and appreciate what have others done for you? Everyone have their own privacy thing and we do not need your help in being a CNN to tell everyone about it. I am really dissapointed when i found out about it, and after all the things that i have done. IT JUST DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING AND IT JUST DOES NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE!!!!!

This is not the way in threating your friends. Sniff! Sniff!!!!! Sniff!!!!. I am heart broken and really dissapointed. Maybe i should just grow up and learn that in actual fact it’s just now easy to trust a person at all……..

I know some of you will say that i am Kiasu, But what to do. I want to spread this good news to all of you. And of course i want to share this good news with everyone. Heh new fragrance ok? It’s a big BIG BIG deal… Cause we have spend a lot of time to make this launch a happening one. So need everyone’s support. SO BETTER GO AND BUY ONE BOTTLE . Heheheheh Support lah a bit. Moreover it’s a really nice new scent.  it’s a combinations of Rays of Iris, Violets, and also Red Berries. Anyways, in order for everyone of you to have a chance to try the new fragrance, we are giving out a lot of samples to everyone. But please make sure that you go and buy also lah. hehehehehe…. Evil me!!!! Heh guys and gals. Just log into www.insolence.com.my , register and print out your voucher to get your samples from all the Guerlain counters. IT"S FREE man… Just take a few of your minutes and you get a free sample. Where can you find such a great deal. Isn’t it.

And the more people you refer this webpage to, you stand a chance to wim a lot of free gifts also. So,, just log in lah….Anyways, if you guys are really interested, just to let you know that we are having several promotions going on. Just check it out

31/ Aug until 6/Sept: Metrojaya Mid valley

5/Sept until 11/ Sept: Sogo

15/ Sept until 20/ Sept: Piaget KLCC

Give a bit of support lah, moreover whenever you buy the new fragrance, there will be a lot of free gifts waiting for you.

Hehehehe yes, don’t say that i am kiasu lah, i know… But i love it too much…SO…. BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY

Well yes, a business trip to Penang. Stephanie and I planned to go down to visit out girls in Penang, since i haven’t met them before. Then, suddenly our boss said that she wantes to go. Well, ya, i know that most of the people who say, why with your boss? But it’s ok… She is fun and ok. But that trip is a hell full of food. yes, Food. Stephanie and I swear that we won’t want to have any Penang food for the rest of the weeks. What to do… i am getting fat, I don’t want to get fat. The last thing i want is to put on extra weight, cause i am trying really hard to loss it……

Anyways, the trip turn out ok, we went to Penang, but Damn i am really tired from the trip cause i have to drive two whole days, from KL to Penang and then from Penang to Ipoh and back to KL. Man,,, i need my rest…. And of course i need to go on diet. No more food for me…… It;s going to kill me…..When i talk about food, yes it’s a lot. Well but i manage to try this Penang famous Friend Kew tiao,, it’s fantastic, of course it’s expensive, it cost like RM 7 per plate, but the prawns that they put in the food. Man.. it was big…. no wonder they charge so much. And then at night we went to Gurney drive for the food….. yes, i fell so guilty man… cause i have lots of fried chicken skin, I can’t even believe myself. Shit… i really have to go on diet… If not i will be dead. MMMM.. let me think what else we had. yes , this breakfast set from coffee bean…. and then we went to Ipoh for nice ipoh ho fan. heheheheheh…. Well i think that it is.. but i just feel so fat after that trip.